Announcement: Chip's 40-day Memorial Weekend in Delaware

I am in the early stages of planning for Chip’s 40-day memorial service (see below for why this is important) throughout the weekend of July 11-12 in Wilmington, Delaware. After speaking with his parents, we decided that an 11:30 memorial service and ashes-scattering ceremony on Sunday, July 12th at their home, followed by a simple lunch, would be the best way to pay respects and honor Chip in Delaware. I am looking into group tours at Hagley Museum and Library as well as Mt. Cuba Center on July 11th for anyone who would like to join me and our families in memorializing Chip in these places and, hopefully, scattering some of his ashes at these places he loved.

The Book of Genesis 7:12 tells us “And rain fell on the earth forty days and forty nights.” The number forty has significance throughout the Bible. It was significant in the Old Testament story of the Noah’s ark and the flood, and was very significant for the forty days and nights Jesus spent fasting and being tempted by the devil in the desert before his death, which is now reflected in the forty days of Lent Christians practice before we celebrate Jesus’ resurrection. I like that my church, the Greek Orthodox church, memorializes someone who has passed on a “schedule.” Memorial services take place on, or close to, Days 1, 3, 9, and 40 after someone dies. After that, there is a 6-month memorial service as well as on, or close to, the 1-year anniversary of the loved one’s death. Every year after that, a memorial service is held on the anniversary of the death with a bigger-than-usual memorial service marking the 3-year anniversary of the death. During all the services, we pray for the soul of the departed as well as sing a hymn 3 times that states “Eternal be his/her memory” (the hymn begins at the 59 second mark in this video at a Greek funeral). Following a memorial service, the family joins together with loved ones, friends and/or the church congregation to pay respects to and remember the dead on these historic days by sharing a meal and a memorial food called “kollyva” (KOH-lee-vah).

As Sam Tetrault writes in her blog post titled “What’s the Significance of 40 Days After Death?,” there is a long history of practicing the 40th day memorial after death and there are many traditions around the world (e.g., Roman Catholic, Filipino Catholic, Islam, etc.) regarding the mourning process lasting 40 days. Ms. Tetrault tells us that “many modern Greek-Orthodox individuals believe the soul lingers on Earth until the 40th day. Others simply believe it’s important to pay respects.” She also shares:

“It’s interesting to compare the post-funeral traditions across the globe. There are striking similarities in how people from a variety of cultures pay respects to those they love. Mourning is a time to come together, reflect, and focus on the importance of life. In many traditions, the 40 days after the death of a loved one are vital. The souls of loved ones are currently undergoing the biggest transition from Earthly life to the afterlife. Families and friends use their customs and practices to aid the deceased during this transition. While these practices above all help the soul of the deceased, they also help the family find its own peace. Finding peace in the passing of loved ones is a part of life.” 

All updates for the 40-day memorial weekend in Wilmington will be provided in this blog, which is also posted on Facebook. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me via Messenger, email, phone or text if you’d like specifics about the planning for that weekend or have ideas for making the weekend the perfect way to remember Chip.

Sam and Stella in front of the Brandywine River when we visited Hagley with Chip in March 2018