How Did Chip Do What He Did?

Chip survived 3-1/2 years with a pancreatic cancer diagnosis. He lived for 2-1/2 years with a Stage 3, inoperable diagnosis (He was, indeed, operated on since he did so well after his first round of chemotherapy and radiation) and almost another full year with a Stage 4 (metastatic/incurable) diagnosis, after the cancer moved to his liver. The median survival rate for Stage 4 pancreatic cancer is around 3-6 months after diagnosis, but some people live longer. Chip lived with his Stage 4 diagnosis for exactly 10 months, to the day.

So many of his friends, family and colleagues asked him (and ask me now) how he did it. They wonder how he lived life with such gusto and went to work after the diagnoses, the treatments, the clinical trial, the side effects and the set-backs. All those who ask don’t seem to realize that they are actually part of the answer. It was the support he received from friends and family, the dedication to his work as an attorney and the people at his job, his deep faith in God, his profound belief in the power of prayer, his A+ attempts at meditation (so hard!), the community of people rooting for him (including medical professionals), and, last but not least, love (both given and received).

In addition to all of those mentioned, Chip’s will to live…which was gigantic…enormous…colossal.…also contributed to his longterm life with cancer. Medical professionals are admittedly fascinated by patients like Chip whose will to live has such an impact on the course of their disease and their outcomes. They see that the will to live can make all the difference in the world with two patients of the same age, pre-disease health, diagnosis, and so many other similar factors. Doctors, nurses, researchers, etc. see that the patient with the will to live will survive far longer than the one without the will to live, and might even possibly beat a disease with very grim data on survival and “beatability.” In their article titled "The Will to Live," Ernest Rosenbaum, M.D. and Isadora Rosenbaum, M.A., discuss the will to live at length. I shared the article with Chip when I stumbled onto it back in February this year, when he was forced to leave the clinical trial at Johns Hopkins since it was causing him to lose too much weight. Reading the article strengthened Chip’s will to live, something I didn’t think was even possible at the time. The article is a must-read for anyone who thinks receiving a devastating diagnosis is a death knell. It’s a must-read for those who want to make a difference in the world for a loved one (or a stranger, via volunteerism or a career) who receives a diagnosis paired with “Mr/Ms/Mrs _______, you have ______ months to live.” As just one example in the article, there was a patient highlighted who was diagnosed with a high-risk cancer at age 29 and with advanced Stage 4 cancer at 31. She revealed her amazingly strong will to live in the following quote:

“I would get out of bed every morning as if nothing was wrong. I may have known I was going to have to face things and could feel sick during the day, but I never got out of bed that way. There was a lot I was fighting for. I had a three-year-old child, a wonderful life, and a magical love affair with my husband.”

(According to the article, she is still alive, still on chemotherapy, and still living an active life...30 years later.)

Chip had everything to live for. He deeply loved me and our 8 children that we shared. He desperately wanted to see all of them find their way and to achieve personal satisfaction in life. We talked often about all the grandchildren we would see, and I would describe to him in detail the kind of doting grandfather he would be. He had hope that he would see those grandchildren, amongst many other hopes as he strengthened his will to live every day.

In the end, his body gave out. The years of medical interventions weakened his physicality to the point that his will to live, love, prayer, etc. couldn’t fight the damage done to his body. But, everyone reading this (and everyone spreading the word to others) should know that Chip’s mind and his spirit never gave up. His mind and spirit fought right until the last beat of his heart. Now that he is part of the light, his mind and spirit will fight for those he left behind and will be a part of all the amazing things we do, many of which we will do in his name, his honor and his remembrance.