Undefinable (adj), "not capable of being precisely described"

I have a necklace with a dog tag inscribed with the words "An enigma wrapped in a mystery." I bought it for myself 15 or so years ago. I like to fancy myself a bit of an enigma, despite being an overshare-er. Sometimes I think it's just the sound of the word rolling off my tongue that I like or that I may even be quite the opposite of one. Since I like to share my stories, thoughts and feelings, I suppose most people have a pretty good sense of who I am, things I have done in my life and how I feel.

In addition to being an overshare-er, I am also an over-analyzer. I like to spend time (lots of time) analyzing myself in order to be a better human being. I found out from Youper, an app I got to help me sleep, process emotions and meditate during the stress of handling and observing Chip's health situation unfold over the years, that I am "The Mentor" type. I've discovered just this morning that my primary Sparktype is "The Advisor" and my shadow Sparktype in "The Scientist." Having taken variations of the Myers-Briggs personality tests at different points in my life beginning in grad school, I have always toggled between the ENTP and ENFP. I think it probably depends on whether I am in a more "thinking" or "feeling" mood in the moment of taking the test..and in these days of raw emotion, I'm not surprised I have more of an "F" than a "T" personality.

During a snow-day early on in our relationship when my little two with with their dad, I wanted to get to know Chip better and thought that having him take various versions of the Myers-Briggs would be the way to do it. He told me he thought he remembered being an ESTJ the last time he took the test, but when he took different versions of the test that day as the snow fell softly outside the house, he came up as something different each time. I kept making him take more tests after the first two came up as different, and no matter how many times he took tests that day, he never came up as the same 4 letters twice.

Many who came to Chip's memorial service on Sunday expressed to me that they didn't know about certain parts of Chip's life. They didn't realize he had done so many things in his life or that he was struggling. They didn't know the depth and breadth of him or how capable he was at loving others. Some weren't aware of why he made certain decisions. Others had formed fuzzy pictures of why Chip did what he did or why he was who he was. Chip would admit often that he, too, did not understand or know himself fully, so he would have been perfectly fine with people saying they "didn't know____" or "had no idea." Chip was unable to be placed in a group. He was "un-labelable." It wasn't easy for me to put him into words, and I think he would say the same about himself. He was just Chip...and I loved every last fiber of his being.